Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
