I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
