we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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