At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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