dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
