addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
