They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
