Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
