It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you inspire me to be a worse person
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
