Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
