best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
