oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
