I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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