Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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