next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
