I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
