Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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