Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
