Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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