Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
