OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
