people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
