he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
