It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
