I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it hurts more in the daytime
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
