That's intense
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
