apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She needs sedatives and a leash
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
