You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
