I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
