I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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