I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You need a sexual gate keeper
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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