I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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