You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
