I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Holy sore nipples Batman
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
