Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
