Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
