Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
