No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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