I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
