I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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