just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
