After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
