We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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