He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
