butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
