census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
