i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Mom said you looked used
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
