i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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