We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
