what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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